Category Archives: Life

A new life goal?

When I was attending Kindergarten, I most probably wanted to be working in a Vet.

When I was attending intermediate, I wanted to be a Chef.

When I was attending High School I wanted to either be working with wood projects or teaching young Children.

When I left school I started working at The Warehouse and then moved to study Hospitality, this is where I stayed working for many years.

After figuring out that Hospitality wasn’t quite for me because it absolutely ruined my social life which I loved to much, I took a complete career change and began working in Insurance, which is where I have now worked for 8 years.

But a funny thing has happened…I have had my one and only child and after teaching her (she is only 9 months old) the career path I was considering in High School has made a come back.

If only I had continued on back then and started my study in Early Childhood….that would have helped me today! Now where do I begin.

Everything will piece itself together eventually. I will work hard to get what I want as I always have. Determination is key.

Watch this space!

Actions speak louder than words.

I have an 8 1/2 month old beautiful girl. Her name is Danielle, and she has made my life so very different, in many positive ways, not one negative!

She has taught me so much even though she can’t speak herself yet. Her actions speak for her.

I have heard ‘Actions speak louder than words’ many times throughout my life so far (all 29 of them) and I now know just how true it is.

Danielle can’t speak to me (yet) she can’t tell me how she is feeling, but I understand her by her actions.

The way she stares at her hands, I know that’s when she has dog fur, fluff, hair or something on her fingers.

The way she licks her chops after dinner I know she is satisfied and happy without being able to say ‘yum’ or ‘thank you for tea that was delicious.’

The way she looks at me when she is ready for a nap, her null look on her face says it all! She doesn’t have to say ‘I am tired’, she doesn’t even have to yarn!

The way she looks at me when I sit down and do nothing for even a few seconds, she makes me aware she is bored and wants to do something without even whining or saying ‘Mum, I am bored!’

I never thought it could be so easy to read someone, but having Danielle has made me understand how easy it actually is, as long as you have the time and ability to stop, observe, take it in, process and understand it.

I can’t wait until she is talking but at the moment I am happy playing charades.

I love my life. <3

Who am I?

The pressures of writing.
When I began writing while in High School, it was for myself! A lonely blank journal waitng patiently to find out how I felt that day. Like it was my most trusted friend. It never judged me. It never reacted to me.

As I grew older, I learnt the value of communication. I knew my options were to either withdraw myself and become a loner or I could push myself to be the best person I could be.

I use to on occasion miss the school bus, because being by myself was easier than going to school to spend my day trying to work out what group I fitted into. I didn’t know who I was, so I didn’t know what I could offer anyone.
When I did go to school, I did get along with most people, I just found myself floating around a few different groups of people. I couldn’t settle for just one group of people like everyone else seemed to. To this day i still do not know why.

I wasn’t pushed out, I wasn’t hassled, I just didn’t know where I belonged.

When I left school and started working, the same thing happened. I talked to a lot of different people but I couldn’t properly connect with a particular person or one particular group, therefore work friends never really became out of work friends. I still to this day don’t know why.
I found though, the more I talked and the more I shared my past with people I learnt how to bond. I was no longer making small talk I was having real conversations, about feelings, personal preferences, desires, likes and dislikes, what grinds my gears and what makes me happy. And now, I have the ability to write what I feel, or what i iust want to write about.
I’m not scared about who might read it. I’m not scared about how people might judge me. I’m not scared about the possibility of people not liking what I write about. My mind is free, I am free, I no longer feel like a loner, I know where I belong and I know where I do not belong.
Therefore I write for me, but I also write for you.

😊

How to Cope with Disappointment

Disappointment is an emotion that many of us have a difficult time understanding and managing. I suggest that there are five steps to follow:

1. Manage emotion

2. Don’t take it personally

3. Review expectations

4. Take a big picture perspective

5. Try again — or try another tack

Let’s explore these five steps on how to cope with disappointment below.

1. Manage emotion

This step would be No. 1 when dealing with any difficult and perhaps unexpected life circumstances. You need to experience your emotional reaction to the event. It’s important to let yourself feel so that you can figure out what the event means to you. Don’t be tempted to make any important decisions at this point or even to take action on your feelings. It may be a few hours or a few days before you reach a calmer state of mind; when you do, only then should you act.

2. Don’t take it personally

So may of us are all too ready to attribute negative life events to our own personal failings. We say that we deserved it, or attracted it to ourselves or were not “good enough” to have a different outcome. The reality is, life will simply do what it does, whether you are there or not. In this instance, you happened to be present during the event, which actually had nothing to do with you.

When you take something personally, it unnecessarily narrows your point of view and prevents the acquiring of wisdom, which is an ability to see life from a deeper, broader, more meaningful perspective. Instead of making it “all about me,” allow yourself to “not know” by reminding yourself: “I don’t know, I don’t know.”

That way you can be available to a real understanding of an event when it arises and not one you just made up for the sake of expedience. You may eventually discover more about yourself and life but not within the time limits you set. Remember just to wait. When it comes to insight, impatience is not your friend.

3. Review expectations

When you take a good look at your expectations, you will be getting closer to a true understanding of the event. Perhaps your expectations were unrealistic. Perhaps they could be adjusted a little to cope with this new reality. Either way, now is the time to question whether these expectations actually serve you.

4. Take a big picture perspective

The ability to self-reflect is the essence of good mental health. Take some time to explore what is happening for you around this event – what it means to you and what it has taught you about life. Talking to a therapist, someone who really listens and has your best interests at heart, is useful. It can help you recover, reevaluate, gain insight and clarity that will surprise you and make you feel better.

5. Try again or try another tack

Having followed these steps, it’s now time to make an important decision about what to do next and how to take action. If you genuinely think it’s possible to succeed by trying again, then by all means have a go. Alternatively, the wisest course of action might be to try another tack. With greater powers of self-reflection, a deeper understanding and newfound resources in dealing effectively with disappointment, you are now more likely to experience success.

By Sophie Henshaw, DPsych 

Execrate, what a great word!

“Watch your mouth!” “You watch yours!”

Who is right? Who is wrong? Who is telling porkies? Who is being honest? Who is sane? Who is insane? Who do you trust? Who do you not trust?

What’s the deal? Why is being genuine so hard? Why can’t we just live to love and love to live happily, be polite and be truthful to yourself and to others?

I execrate people who feed off hurting others, I execrate people who think it’s ok to spread the word, what word? ALL OF THE FALSE & HURTFUL ONES!

Why can’t people say what is, and say what isn’t? Why do people fold and hide away from their flaws instead of own up to them? How can people live with themselves when they know they have done wrong and won’t do right, given every chance under the sun?

I execrate the fact that ‘lies’ exists! I execrate the fact that sometimes in life you become so caught up in the crap that you think “What is actually the point?”

I execrate writing this, but then I also feel the need to at the same time. I will not carry my anger on a sling on my shoulders, I will no longer be a target, I will stay strong and I will live to make my future what I want it to be, I will not exist to live someone elses.

Will the negativity stop? Of course not. Will I have trouble with people in the future? Absolutely. Will I become frustrated myself? 100%. Will I allow someone to beat me down mentally and emotionally? Never again!

Have I asked to many questions? Absolutely. 😀

Will they be answered? Probably not. 😔

Why use the word execrate? Because it feels better.  💗

The Dark Being

“Go to hell” he screams spilling a portion of his dark rum lining a spirit glass falling from his hand. “You don’t know anything” he tries to make me believe.

He feels like a powerful magnet pulling me in, but he does not know that I am stronger than him.

A kitten he picks up and throws, my fur ball lying on there on the floor.

He pushes me into his bedroom and deadbolts the door. My dear friend I ring to come and get me, to save me from his rage. His drinking was bad again today, that’s all I have to say.

My friend meets me at the window and I leap for him to save me from what would hopefully be the last time I see the beasts face.

I move house and change jobs, but I don’t feel safe anymore.

Now….later in life, I have grown even stronger day by day. And now I am happy with the love of my life, here I want to stay.

The beast did not beat me! Does he still exists? I don’t care.

12 ways to make someone feel happy

  1. Smile.
  2. Help them carry or complete something.
  3. Send a thank you email or letter telling them why they are special to you.
  4. Call just to see how they’re doing.
  5. Pick them flowers or take them chocolates or something you know they like.
  6. Cook them a nice meal or take them out to lunch.
  7. Make something homemade, this is always special.
  8. Listen, truly listen.
  9. If they say they need help, be there to help.
  10. Spend time with them, having fun.
  11. Be proud of them.
  12. Be happy yourself.

The M Word

Throughout life So far I have struggled to do things for myself. I have never been selfish, always put everyone else first.

And then along came my little Angel, my Christmas Day baby girl, her name is Danielle. My waters broke around 11:45pm on the 23rd December 2015, and I was given until 4:00pm the next day to crank labor into gear otherwise I would have to travel to birth in a different city to where I live.

I walked around, I kept hydrated, I bounced on my Swiss ball, I went up and down our stairs….but nothing! So here I was making sure I had everything I needed and headed off on what seemed to be a drive that would never end.

They checked me and my unborn baby (we weren’t going to find out the sex until delivery) and they ended up inducing me at around 8:00pm then my partner and I waited, talked, napped and waited some more.

Then at 3:20am on Christmas Day everything kicked into gear, I started having contractions but nothing really moved along fast enough. They ended up putting me on a hormone drip and later I was offered the gas.

Hours later I was absolutely buggered, I felt like I was blacking out, I couldn’t keep my eyes open, I couldn’t talk, I was exhausted. So they went ahead and gave me an epidural. I was so exhausted, I was having contractions while they were applying the epidural and I hadn’t even moved! I couldn’t!

At 4:20pm after being threatened with forceps something flicked within me and I just began to push with energy I didn’t even know I had and delivered our beautiful baby girl. A happy, healthy, 7.1 pound 55cm baby. She had decided to come right on her due date.

I stayed in hospital overnight with her by myself and still managed to somehow stay awake the whole night except around an hour and a half, I just watched her, held her, I was so proud. I was a Mother and she was my missing piece to myself, I finally had my own child.

I have loved Motherhood so far, she is growing so fast and she is so smart and so bright. Even on my worse day her smile turns my frown upside down.

I would trade in Motherhood for anything and I will always be proud of the huge amount of energy and mind power I used to get her here.

She is the love of my life! My miracle!

5 Quotes from a Billionaire

1. “Work like there is someone working 24 hours a day to take it away from you.”

2. “It’s not in the dreaming, it’s in the doing.”

3. “Doesn’t matter if the glass is half-empty or half-full. All that matters is that you are the one pouring the water.”

4. “Wherever I see people doing something the way it’s always been done, the way it’s ‘supposed’ to be done, following the same old trends, well, that’s just a big red flag to me to go look somewhere else.”

5. “Every no gets me closer to a yes.”

Mark Cuban

 

 

10 tips to success

1) Always be specific about what you want to achieve so it is easier to make it happen. Blurred ideas + Blurred vision = Blurred outcome.

2) Draw up a plan of action whether it is a brainstorming sheet, a pros and cons list, pictures or a list of your priorities; get it down!

3) Make a list of steps you will need to achieve to get there, even if the first step is dead simple, start there and write it down and follow them.

4) Act, do not be passive. Take action and follow the steps on your list. Don’t just wait for things to happen. As they probably won’t!

5) Read and listen to advice; books, articles, blogs, people’s life experience….learn by it all.

6) Alternative plans: If a certain plan doesn’t work, look for an alternative one. Don’t give up.

7) Examine your goals periodically, unfortunately some just aren’t worth trying to achieve. Some goals just lose their flare, their importance.

8) Repeat affirmations. Affirm with feelings that your goal has already been achieved. If you don’t undo your affirmations with doubts and lack of belief, they will be accepted by your subconscious mind, which will then provide you with more desire and motivation.

9) Visualize your goal – Visualization will also affect your subconscious mind, which will keep you motivated, focused on your goal, and more aware of ideas and opportunities.

10) Take action!!! Do it!! Don’t just affirm and visualize and do nothing. Take any action required to bring your goal into fruition. Follow your intuition, new ideas and opportunities that present themselves, and accept help from other people.